What does it mean to accept the inevitable? I’ve been pondering this lately as I’m getting older, but things are changing that I have no control over. For example, I can’t jump around in Jazzercise like I used to: I have to step in place because my knees will bother me if I don’t. I find that I need a little rest time in my day so that I can keep going on into the evening with activities. I find that I’m more assertive than I used to be – yes, I’m a bit mouthy – and don’t really care about the consequences.
Things are changing, and I’m encountering some of the same issues my mother experienced. I find that I have a better understanding my mother’s aging process as I get older.
The bottom line is it’s my job to accept my age changes rather than complain and resist. It’s just the way it is.
Now I know this isn’t easy, and for sure it hasn’t been for me (or my mother). I remember when I used to run for fitness, but after several years it was causing me a lot of back pain. So I had to stop running and just do walking. And of course that made me depressed, because I thought I’ll never be as healthy as I want to be from just walking. But eventually I realized that walking is a great fitness activity for me now!
But acceptance of a change might not come right away. But if you give it some time and appreciate the fact that this may be a new normal for you, then you can finally make peace with it and accept it.
What are you going through right now that is challenging you?
Here are my tips to help you with acceptance of anything that might be changing for you that you are starting to resist.
A – Allow the change to come into being instead of fighting it.
C – Communicate your feelings with family or friends so you don’t bottle things up.
C – Create new opportunities that will achieve the same benefit you’ve been looking for differently.
E – Eliminate negative feelings that arise and focus on how can you shift and move forward with your life.
P – Pretend everything is as it should be, and relax into these changes to allow your body and mind to relax as well.
T – Train yourself to keep moving forward instead of yielding to depression, regret, and anger.
A – Allow time to accept the changes and let your mind go through the stages of grief and loss.
N – Notice when you have shifted into accepting your new reality and celebrate your progress.
C – Collaborate with others going through a similar situation and get ideas on how they’re dealing with it.
E – Enjoy the process of change as another wonderful thing about being alive!
And finally, I love this reminder from one of my support groups – “When I got busy, I got better.”
So I got busy writing this blog and now I feel better!
If you need some support around acceptance, contact me for a quick laser coaching session to give you a boost.
Nurses are finding new and innovative ways to help those in need around the world, but not every nurse can live up to that standard. Here are some of the best and worst stories in nursing this summer.
University of Victoria researcher Kelli Stajduhar, a palliative care nurse, is leading the charge on healthcare for the homeless in her community. Because of the many barriers for homeless people to get healthcare, Stajduhar wants to go to them and provide healthcare where they are: downtown, in shelters, or in a housing complex. She thinks that outreach can improve the lives of the homeless, and get them the care they need. (Source: CBC)
Another nurse is looking for new ways to help the most vulnerable: Dawn Bounds, a nursing professor at Rush University College of Nursing, has published her extensive research on sex trafficking in the U.S. This research has the potential to save lives of at-risk young girls, and Bounds is planning to use this research to implement a runaway intervention program in Chicago. (Source: Nurse.com)
A New Jersey nurse broke the cardinal rule of healthcare when she was caught on video stabbing a disabled child with a needle six times. The nurse used physical abuse to control the autistic boy’s behavior, threatening him with the needle and other physical violence according to reports. (Source: The AP)
Nursing is often considered the most trustworthy profession, but this story might undermine that reputation. A nurse manager at St. Richard’s Hospital in the UK pled guilty to the theft of a dying man’s watch. The man’s Submariner Rolex was a family heirloom, and the nurse manager plead guilty to the stealing the watch after them man was admitted to the ED after suffering a heart attack. (Source: The Argus)
If you are CREATIVE like me, clutter stays cluttered and causes muttering about the clutter, but it never gets decluttered!
So what’s that all about? For me, cluttering results from being blessed – or cursed – with being a person who is VISUAL. You need to have everything in view so you can find it. OUT OF SIGHT AND OUT OF MIND is your motto. Can you relate? So how do you manage that?
Let’s apply this issue to a 12 Step Program, of which I am very familiar and has helped me greatly in the past with issues out of my control.
- Admit you are powerless over clutter, it has become a barrier to managing your life and business successfully and causes you a great deal of unnecessary stress.
- Believe that a force greater than you can bring clutter under control if you just turn it over to the clutter gods for support.
- Make a commitment to getting regular decluttering done by committing it to your calendar.
- Search within yourself to discover why cluttering is happening in the first place and address that.
- Admit to yourself and others that just because it appears to be a problem, it is actually related to what kind of person you are and reflects the nature of a creative mind.
- Be willing to admit to yourself and others that just because you have the gift of creativity doesn’t mean you can’t control the clutter in your life.
- Ask the clutter gods of the universe to support your efforts in managing the clutter in a positive way.
- Make a list of all the people and projects you have disappointed because of you were less organized and efficient due to excess clutter.
- Share those truths with those affected and make amends.
- Continue to monitor your clutter daily and course correct promptly to avoid becoming paralyzed.
- Set your intention daily, using visualization on what it looks and feels like to live a clutter-free lifestyle.
- Share the message and lessons learned with others challenged by this issue.
Now you don’t have to do all of these steps right away. This is a major lifestyle change that thrives on doing one step at a time and moving on when you start seeing and “feeling” results.
Need some coaching support around this issue? Contact me for a laser coaching session.
Are you contemplating having your own business? Check this out!
Did you know that “people need people” and in some cases when people don’t have human contact they can die? Newborns denied physical contact with other humans can actually die from this lack of contact, even when provided with proper nutrition and shelter. Older people who lack social contacts may be at increased risk of death if acute symptoms develop, because there is less of a network of confidantes to prompt medical attention.
Working for yourself is certainly different than having a job working for a boss and being around lots of people all day. There are always opportunities to make connections, be seen and known, and create new opportunities. But when you work for yourself, it is up to you to make those connections happen.
I’m just giving you a reality check in case you are about to embark on starting a business of your own and want to find out how to grow your business and avoid the “kiss of death” that happens to 50% of new businesses.
NETWORKING rules as a business builder and here’s why:
N – new connections are made with new people who may need your services
E – enjoyment happens when you learn about people’s hopes and dreams
T – trust develops when you connect with people on a regular basis
W – wonderful conversations often lead to friendships
O – opportunities arise to find even more people whom you can serve
R – rewards come from being able to help someone improve their life
K – kindred spirits show up the more people you meet
I – intimate conversations can lead to deeper relationships
N – notice what happens when you give the gift of listening to another person
G – great things occur when great people get together
So if you are going into business for yourself, networking with people on a regular basis is critical – but pays off with great rewards. What are your thoughts about this issue?
I know – that doesn’t sound possible. But how would you like to raise your odds of success?
Have you ever wanted something to happen to improve your life and it just wasn’t happening? No matter how hard you tried? Maybe you were trying too hard and need to slack off a bit. Sometimes we block our desires by pushing too hard and then get frustrated thinking “Why aren’t I getting anywhere? I’m working as hard as I can and getting nowhere.”
Here’s an example. I was teaching a class for teachers on how to bring positivity into the classroom using the Law of Attraction and suddenly realized that as much as I know about all the ways in the world to attract great things to my life, I still don’t always practice them. This class became a reminder of that, so I’d like to share with you five tips to help you do less, feel better and attract more.
Here are some tips to get you started.
- First decide what desire you want to manifest for yourself
- Create a Vision Board that represents what your desire looks like and display it where you see it every day
- Schedule time every day to focus on your desire in a relaxed state
- Practice techniques you enjoy daily that relax you like meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, exercise, listening to relaxing music, etc.
- Keep a journal of all the things you start manifesting as proof that it works
Now you will be on your way to getting what you want (almost) every time you ask. I would love to hear your comments about this.
Years ago, at a National League of Nursing meeting, Loretta Nowakowski, former director for Health Education for the Public at Georgetown University School of Nursing in Washington, D.C., proposed that disease could be best understood by looking at hurricanes. She noted that, like a serious illness, hurricanes occurred only when many factors were present within relatively narrow parameters and that an appropriate intervention could alter the severity or course of a disease or hurricane. This discovery was encouraging to Nowakowski—it meant that an intervention, made at any point, could alter the final outcome.
And so it is with horizontal hostility. History, gender, education, work practices, interpersonal relationships, communication skills, and organizational structure all contribute to horizontal hostility. The “hurricane” of horizontal hostility cannot manifest without these predisposing factors, so to intervene anywhere in this vast array can change the outcome from hostile to healthy.
The good news is that no matter what our current role—whether CNO, staff nurse, director, educator, or manager—we can implement interventions that will decrease hostility. Multiple opportunities are available at various levels.
Framework for leading organizational change to eliminate hostility
Enacting a twofold method (i.e., increasing a healthy environment while simultaneously decreasing hostility) is the most effective approach that managers can take to enact change at the organizational level.
To increase a healthy culture, leaders must:
- Firmly establish board and senior leadership team commitment
- Make harm visible: Frame disruptive behavior as a safety issue; importance of teams:
– Create infrastructures to support managers and staff: Include behaviors in annual reviews for all staff including physicians
- Shift the power structure from a hierarchy to a team/tribe:
– Provide a constructive feedback system for accountability and performance
– Provide leadership training and confrontation skills training for managers
– Provide assertiveness training and confrontation skills training for managers
– Monitor the organizational climate
– Increase social capital—build a strong informal network
To decrease hostility, leaders must:
Adopt a zero-tolerance policy for all disruptive behavior:
- Same rules for all roles!
- Transform power from a hierarchy to a tribe/team
- Adopt a zero-tolerance policy for horizontal hostility
- Provide leadership and conflict management training for managers
- Educate staff about the etiology and impact of hostility
- Create a system for reporting and monitoring the culture
- Participate with other hospitals to pass state legislation
– See more at: http://www.psqh.com/analysis/leadership-ending-nurse-to-nurse-hostility-1/
- Turn OFF negative chatter on the news – it feeds into a “down feeling.”
- Turn ON great music and read, relax, dance – whatever the music moves you to do.
- Register for an online course or a webinar that is educational, uplifting, and inspiring.
- Start cleaning, one drawer at a time to reduce clutter and open up space.
- Call friends to catch up – one or two a week is a good dose.
- Create home cooked meals, sit around a table together and have great conversation.
- Start dreaming and planning your next getaway.
- Gather unwanted things – take to Goodwill and ponder how someone else will love having what you don’t need anymore.
- Do a favor for someone without telling them and imagine how good it makes them feel!
- When all else fails, write down 25 things you are grateful for. This works every time!
- Craving to meet new like-minded people and expand your circle of friends
- Craving to make a difference in other people’s lives
- Craving to get healthier yourself
Now if that sounds like something you can commit to, and you don’t mind taking the time and energy to make that happen, then you are in the right place right now.
As I ended my traditional nursing career in the corporate world and branched out on my own, I realized I still had more to offer and craved these three things. I never saw myself retired, so I knew I had to create a new path for myself that would still be fulfilling personally, but would also allow me to continue making a difference in the health and wellness of others. The path I chose fell into place because I was OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES and was WILLING TO TAKE CALCULATED RISKS.
If you are at such a crossroads as this, then I have 8-STEPS that moved me forward into a place of new challenges, renewed energy, exciting possibilities, more relationships, and support than at any other time in my life, more fun and travel, better health (I thought I was super healthy, but found out I could do even better) and even opened a path to financial security (that was a bonus!). Believe me, this was a welcome surprise to me and I felt rejuvenated and ready to tackle a NEW BEGINNING in life. So are you ready for a new beginning?
Email me to request a FREE download of my 8-STEP PLAN FOR A NEW BEGINNING.
We’re halfway through summer and I’ve had more hot dogs, cakes, s’mores, barbecues, and party dinners then I handle. It’s all good because I get to celebrate with friends and family, but I’m feeling out of control with my eating.
Wouldn’t this be a great time to reassess our healthy lifestyle choices and maybe consider tweaking a little bit? Here’s an idea for you. I do a brief wellness review twice a year to see how I’m doing about staying on a healthy path. I also use this as a tool for all my coaching clients as they embark on a new lifestyle path, so it might be very helpful for you right now as well.
Just email me to get a free download so you can do your own reassessment to start getting back on track and ready for fall. Have fun with this!
Picking blackberries is my ZEN thing to do in the summer, as it takes me away from the usual city stuff and allows me to become re-connected to nature and who I am. And since I am also a Life Coach, I see the application of my experience to those of you who might like to do some soul searching as well.
Here are my thoughts on the experience of picking in the patch. YOU can decide how this can apply to your life.
B – Be prepared before you enter the patch.
Shorts and tank tops are not picking attire. Blackberries grow on long prickly vines that not only scratch me easily, but can wrap around my ankles and trip me if I start moving too fast. I prepare and protect myself with long-sleeved shirts and pants, preferably denim, socks, and shoes, no sandals.
L- Listen to the sounds of the woods for guidance.
If birds are chirping pleasantly, bugs are buzzing around making a lazy sound, leaves are fluttering in the breeze and I feel calm, then all is well. At a moment’s notice, however, I have heard a screech or a squawk or a fast rustling thru the woods and know that something is up! It’s amazing if I don’t have the distraction of all the “people noise” that the sounds of nature are there to guide my survival in very basic ways.
A – Analyze your next move before you take the first step.
Before I start to pick, I scan the entire patch and get the big picture of how I will proceed. Where is the best entry point that provides the easiest access, has the least amount of entanglements and yields the biggest return. This is a “prickly” venture and can lead to a lot of scratches, so I need to be strategic and move carefully as I proceed.
C – Check behind you often.
Sometimes when I keep moving forward as I pick, I only see one side of what is available. When I turn around periodically, I see more berries that I might have missed if I were always looking forward. I like to use the “turning technique” by planting my feet in one spot and picking in all directions before I move on, so I can see all the angles.
K – Keep moving deeper into the patch.
The best is yet to come. The first glance does not reveal the true bounty that lies within. As you go deeper, you start developing the “eye” for what you are looking for and you start seeing more of what is there than you originally thought. And berries always appear smaller from a distance, so when you get up close and personal, you really can see how big and beautiful they really are. Of course moving deeper into the patch means more vines, more stickers, more scratches, but no pain – no gain. It is well worth it to forge ahead.
B – Berries that fall to the ground before you get to them are a gift.
Two things are happening here. If you get overly greedy and try to pick too many berries at once with your hand, there might be overflow and they might fall out of your hand and onto the ground. The positive spin on this is that there might be a critter on the ground that had a wonderful berry drop from the heavens right down to the ground in front of it – and it perceives it as a gift! So instead of getting frustrated when you lose the perfect berry, think of the joy that critter feels when it appeared.
E – Expect to experience some pain
I never make it out of the patch without a few scratches, mainly on my hands with exposed skin, but if I pick slowly and steadily and avoid quick moves, I keep it to a minimum. There will be times when you are tempted by a beautiful cluster of ripe berries to reach farther than you should, and then it is easy to get off balance and fall, or pull a muscle. Again, slow, deliberate, and calculated movements reduce the possibility of pain and suffering.
R – Rejoice over the experience.
Appreciate the bounty you are harvesting, how nature provides such delicious and nourishing treats, that you have taken the time to be with nature, be with yourself and be “one with the berries”. The best stress management tool there is for grounding and it’s all FREE.
R – Ripe berries have the best flavor and are easiest to pick.
The biggest berries are the ripest and sweetest, and they are the easiest to pick. When you hit on a cluster of them all ripe and ready, you can cup your hand around the whole bundle and they slide easily off the vine and into your hand. Very smooth! Most of the time the biggest and ripest are found in the shade or hidden among leaves, so when you find them they are a complete surprise. I always get excited when I find them – and usually shout out to my picking partners – “I’ve found the mother load!” So always keep your eyes open when picking, because the best berries might not be in full view, they might even be very low under a lot of brush and you might have to look a little harder to find them.
Y – Young berries need more time to mature
Just because a berry looks ripe doesn’t mean it is. You’ll know right away if it is ready to be picked because if it hangs on tight to the vine and you can’t easily guide it off, it’s not ready. A gentle tug will tell you if it is time or not. If you start pulling too hard you could mash it and then it is of no value to anyone.
So if you want to coach yourself today, ask yourself – How does this apply to your life?